Do leaves go to heaven too?
With their deaths in -ray orange,
-Beam yellow and red-like-fire;
To dry up, crinkle in brown;
They say we die, blast of light
Before our eyes, nirvana
Finally reached like no high.
To all the falls before me:
We shall one day meet again.
Monday, December 14, 2009
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
The Placebo Effect
I am observing The Placebo Effect on myself.
My wisdom teeth have been giving me a lot of grief, top and bottom, on the right side of my mouth. Five days ago, I went to the dentist to get a referral to an oral surgeon so I can get these suckers out of there, and he prescribed me Lodine 400 for the pain. Prior to my appointment, I was either loading up on ibuprofen or taking Vicodin where I could find it; the pain was unbearable, making it extremely difficult to concentrate on my work or my commute, and at the beginning, when I wasn't taking anything for the pain, I would cry.
They say that believing something will help, no matter what the help is for, puts The Placebo Effect into action. I haven't taken a pain pill since last night (about 16 hours), while they recommend one every 8 hours. Before you think, "Maybe the pain has just subsided", I don't see how that would be possible, due to the fact that my wisdom teeth are still in there, still impacted, still shifting. I am surprised that The Placebo Effect seems to be affecting me, while the Effect has been on my mind since 16 hours ago... We will see.
My mother is going in for an MRI today to learn that she is (hopefully, only) in Stage 1 breast cancer. She will have a double masectomy as a sort of preventative measure, rather than just a lumpectomy. (Her ex-sister-in-law had a lumpectomy, only to have the cancer return a couple years later.) She asked me to pray for her, citing "studies" (quoted because I do not know of any myself, and she did not provide me with any) that show people who pray and are prayed for generally do better (in this case, in health). I attribute this to The Placebo Effect as well.
The brain is a very powerful muscle. People can knowingly take sugar pills in place of pain, antidepressant, anxiety, etc. pills, and still obtain the same effects as the test subjects who took the real deal (in more than 30% of cases). By simply saying "I believe", knowing that something will and should work, will convince your brain of it.
When she asked me to pray for her, my mother made a good point when she said, "You could be wrong." Yes, I could be, and I will never claim to be an atheist until there is concrete proof of anything I now consider to be abstract. In fact, I would rather just be and not identify with any sort of denomination or otherwise; however, for the sake of argument, I would call myself agnostic. I do not know what is in store for me, nor anybody else, beyond this world; nobody does, and nobody should be claiming to know absolute truth when the only thing that is absolute in this world is Time.
With that said, I am still finding it very difficult to even approach prayer. If my mother's cancer has spread beyond her breasts, putting her in Stage 2 or more, it is there right now, two hours before her MRI. If she is past Stage 1, praying won't put it back to Stage 1. I tried religion; oh, believe me, I tried. As I grew (and as adults in the Church looked down on this child for asking too many questions, which I considered to be logical), the faith that was instilled in me since the beginning of CCD diminished. The effects of peer pressure waned, and my impressionable mind developed into a logically thinking one which questioned everything it had been prevoiusly told. I read the Bible, parts of it more than once, and while I will agree that it is an interesting story, my mind can't believe that it is anything more than just that: a story. Along with the Qu'ran, the Upanishads, Greek mythology, etc., they're all on the same level of Beowulf: a tale which has been passed on through the ages.
I do hope that, in a millenium, there aren't people wandering this Earth looking for Jack's beanstalk, a passage to the skies.
Keep my mother in your thoughts today.
EDIT: she's in Stage 1; double masectomy on the 20th.
My wisdom teeth have been giving me a lot of grief, top and bottom, on the right side of my mouth. Five days ago, I went to the dentist to get a referral to an oral surgeon so I can get these suckers out of there, and he prescribed me Lodine 400 for the pain. Prior to my appointment, I was either loading up on ibuprofen or taking Vicodin where I could find it; the pain was unbearable, making it extremely difficult to concentrate on my work or my commute, and at the beginning, when I wasn't taking anything for the pain, I would cry.
They say that believing something will help, no matter what the help is for, puts The Placebo Effect into action. I haven't taken a pain pill since last night (about 16 hours), while they recommend one every 8 hours. Before you think, "Maybe the pain has just subsided", I don't see how that would be possible, due to the fact that my wisdom teeth are still in there, still impacted, still shifting. I am surprised that The Placebo Effect seems to be affecting me, while the Effect has been on my mind since 16 hours ago... We will see.
My mother is going in for an MRI today to learn that she is (hopefully, only) in Stage 1 breast cancer. She will have a double masectomy as a sort of preventative measure, rather than just a lumpectomy. (Her ex-sister-in-law had a lumpectomy, only to have the cancer return a couple years later.) She asked me to pray for her, citing "studies" (quoted because I do not know of any myself, and she did not provide me with any) that show people who pray and are prayed for generally do better (in this case, in health). I attribute this to The Placebo Effect as well.
The brain is a very powerful muscle. People can knowingly take sugar pills in place of pain, antidepressant, anxiety, etc. pills, and still obtain the same effects as the test subjects who took the real deal (in more than 30% of cases). By simply saying "I believe", knowing that something will and should work, will convince your brain of it.
When she asked me to pray for her, my mother made a good point when she said, "You could be wrong." Yes, I could be, and I will never claim to be an atheist until there is concrete proof of anything I now consider to be abstract. In fact, I would rather just be and not identify with any sort of denomination or otherwise; however, for the sake of argument, I would call myself agnostic. I do not know what is in store for me, nor anybody else, beyond this world; nobody does, and nobody should be claiming to know absolute truth when the only thing that is absolute in this world is Time.
With that said, I am still finding it very difficult to even approach prayer. If my mother's cancer has spread beyond her breasts, putting her in Stage 2 or more, it is there right now, two hours before her MRI. If she is past Stage 1, praying won't put it back to Stage 1. I tried religion; oh, believe me, I tried. As I grew (and as adults in the Church looked down on this child for asking too many questions, which I considered to be logical), the faith that was instilled in me since the beginning of CCD diminished. The effects of peer pressure waned, and my impressionable mind developed into a logically thinking one which questioned everything it had been prevoiusly told. I read the Bible, parts of it more than once, and while I will agree that it is an interesting story, my mind can't believe that it is anything more than just that: a story. Along with the Qu'ran, the Upanishads, Greek mythology, etc., they're all on the same level of Beowulf: a tale which has been passed on through the ages.
I do hope that, in a millenium, there aren't people wandering this Earth looking for Jack's beanstalk, a passage to the skies.
Keep my mother in your thoughts today.
EDIT: she's in Stage 1; double masectomy on the 20th.
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Brand New...Again
I've rediscovered Brand New, my favorite band in high school, and it's making me super happy.
"You're just jealous cuz we're young and in love."
"You're just jealous cuz we're young and in love."
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Repressed-Recovered Memories
What do you say to someone who can recite a conversation, word-for-word, from a repressed memory? Who do you believe, the alcoholic or the child? How do you explain the memory; as a lie your mind has created and convinced itself to believe?
I take great offense to those who deny the repressed-recovered memories theory. How can you say a memory was invented when one can go into detail about it, and still be so affected by it?
I take great offense to those who deny the repressed-recovered memories theory. How can you say a memory was invented when one can go into detail about it, and still be so affected by it?
Friday, September 4, 2009
Everything's Bigger In Texas
"He and other exonerees in Texas, which leads the nation in freeing the wrongly convicted, soon will become instant millionaires under a new state law that took effect this week." -MSNBC
All that really means is that, at one point, Texas led the nation in locking up the wrongly convicted.
All that really means is that, at one point, Texas led the nation in locking up the wrongly convicted.
Monday, July 27, 2009
I can see my family falling apart before my eyes, ever since my grandmother died; it's as if she was the glue which held us all together. She died and my grandfather fell into dementia which is quickly evolving into Alzheimer's. My uncle came out of the closet, and the only person with a problem with his sexuality is him. It's as if something snapped inside his head once he finally admitted to himself that he was a gay man. When he was "straight", he was the best uncle--so involved and loving. I had decided long ago that he would walk me down the aisle since he was the closest thing to a father figure I had, and that was especially so when he first came out; he was sad because all he ever really wanted was a family, but he refuses to bring children into a home without a mother. When I heard that, I was sure that I wanted him to walk me down the aisle because that's one of the biggest events in a father's life. But now, I don't think that he deserves it. He seems to have forgotten my birthday, phone number, email address, etc. My mother can give me away. I love Brian's family, and I can't wait to be a Noone.
Happy things: I got offered a permanent job at the company I'm currently temping at! I'll go from Editorial Assistant to Competitive Analysis Coordinator; salaried, a lot more money, benefits... awesome. Brian and I will probably move North Shore somewhere, following our stint at my aunt's in Chelmsford. Maybe I can go find something for super cheap to move in...
"Man's biggest mistake is to believe that he's working for someone else." -fortune cookie
Happy things: I got offered a permanent job at the company I'm currently temping at! I'll go from Editorial Assistant to Competitive Analysis Coordinator; salaried, a lot more money, benefits... awesome. Brian and I will probably move North Shore somewhere, following our stint at my aunt's in Chelmsford. Maybe I can go find something for super cheap to move in...
"Man's biggest mistake is to believe that he's working for someone else." -fortune cookie
Saturday, July 11, 2009
This country was founded on rebellion. Where did that spirit go?
Our government is walking all over us, and we sit back and let it happen.
The fact that the Brown's were convicted and will spend the rest of their lives in jail is enraging. These people were standing up for what they believe in, and rather than listening and working with them, this government simply throws them away. They are two smart human beings, beneficial to society, a well-to-do couple who was doing their part to stimulate the economy. The Brown's need all the support they can get right now.
I can't help but wonder...why did the judge dismiss one juror the day before deliberation, and then tell the remaining jury to not speculate about it? He was the one who would have hung the jury, causing a mistrial. It's very upsetting. How a jury of their peers could have found them guilty of plotting to kill US marshalls is beyond me. It seems pretty obvious that they were only planning to defend themselves if necessary. The only party who fired shots WAS the government. Not necessarily at them, but at supporters. It's just...ridiculous.
Photo Challenge
1. Go to your photo files, select the 6th folder/album.
2. Select the 6th photo.
3. Post the picture and the story behind it.
My cousins Stanley & Kelly were from Springfield, Illinois. Every summer they used to come to Massachusetts for a month or so and stay at our grandparents, which was on John's Pond in Mashpee. Those summers were easily the best of my life: skiing, tubing, kneeboarding, laying out on the driveway, building a tree fort down the street, walking to Andy's Market for some candy...
This picture was taken on the dock; the skis they're holding have been the "kid skis" since our parents were kids. (And they're still in use!)
Stanley died September 18, 2008. RIP cuzzo.
2. Select the 6th photo.
3. Post the picture and the story behind it.
My cousins Stanley & Kelly were from Springfield, Illinois. Every summer they used to come to Massachusetts for a month or so and stay at our grandparents, which was on John's Pond in Mashpee. Those summers were easily the best of my life: skiing, tubing, kneeboarding, laying out on the driveway, building a tree fort down the street, walking to Andy's Market for some candy...
This picture was taken on the dock; the skis they're holding have been the "kid skis" since our parents were kids. (And they're still in use!)
Stanley died September 18, 2008. RIP cuzzo.
Friday, July 10, 2009
Let's Play the Blame Game
I've been reading a lot of articles about the credit card companies taking crazy measures to make more money, and then a few comments other readers have made. The ignorance of the majority of this country isn't really astounding, but it still drives me up a wall. If people can't be bothered to find out the facts for themselves and make opinions and decisions purely on hearsay, then they need to sit back silently and watch.
The Obama administration put new regulations on credit cards...to take effect NEXT YEAR. Until then, the credit card companies still have free reign to do whatever they want, and they are obviously doing just that.
This country is separated by the ignorance of BOTH PARTIES; members of both parties love to play the blame game. "Thanks for voting for him, DEMS" or "It's all the REPUBS fault for this decade". It is just that thinking which sidetracks our progress as a free country; it is time for everybody to UNITE, put aside the petty differences where they aren't appropriate, and ban together! We all have one common goal when it comes to the credit card companies: STOP THE LOAN SHARKING. In order for that to ever happen, everybody needs to stop playing the blame game and focus on the real issue at hand here.
Those of you blaming each other: do you even know what the new regulations (which, let me repeat, have not been put into effect yet) are? I am going to tell you.
1. Credit card companies will no longer be able to retroactively raise the interest rate on existing balances (unless your account falls into delinquency). That credit card you don't use anymore but still have a balance on? They won't be able to say, oh hey, we want to raise your interest, so we are.
2. Furthermore, that policy which every credit card company in the universe adheres, "The terms of your agreement are subject to change at any time and without notice", will be NULL & VOID. They will have to send out a notice 45 days prior to the change.
3. Point 1 + Point 2 = Point 3 : interest may only be tallied on balances in the current billing cycle.
4. Your bill will arrive earlier in the billing cycle, in order to minimize that element of surprise.
5. Payments will ALWAYS be put towards the portion of your bill with the higher interest rate, until that is paid off, and then you continue payments with your previous interest rate.
6. No more huge fees for over-limit transactions unless YOU, the cardholder, permits such a fee ahead of time.
Are these not sufficient changes for you? It just hasn't happened yet. Stop blaming Obama; he did his part, it just takes awhile for these things to come into effect. Blame the right people: those who are in charge of the credit card companies and see impending change, and are trying so hard to set themselves up, and ONLY themselves.
The Obama administration put new regulations on credit cards...to take effect NEXT YEAR. Until then, the credit card companies still have free reign to do whatever they want, and they are obviously doing just that.
This country is separated by the ignorance of BOTH PARTIES; members of both parties love to play the blame game. "Thanks for voting for him, DEMS" or "It's all the REPUBS fault for this decade". It is just that thinking which sidetracks our progress as a free country; it is time for everybody to UNITE, put aside the petty differences where they aren't appropriate, and ban together! We all have one common goal when it comes to the credit card companies: STOP THE LOAN SHARKING. In order for that to ever happen, everybody needs to stop playing the blame game and focus on the real issue at hand here.
Those of you blaming each other: do you even know what the new regulations (which, let me repeat, have not been put into effect yet) are? I am going to tell you.
1. Credit card companies will no longer be able to retroactively raise the interest rate on existing balances (unless your account falls into delinquency). That credit card you don't use anymore but still have a balance on? They won't be able to say, oh hey, we want to raise your interest, so we are.
2. Furthermore, that policy which every credit card company in the universe adheres, "The terms of your agreement are subject to change at any time and without notice", will be NULL & VOID. They will have to send out a notice 45 days prior to the change.
3. Point 1 + Point 2 = Point 3 : interest may only be tallied on balances in the current billing cycle.
4. Your bill will arrive earlier in the billing cycle, in order to minimize that element of surprise.
5. Payments will ALWAYS be put towards the portion of your bill with the higher interest rate, until that is paid off, and then you continue payments with your previous interest rate.
6. No more huge fees for over-limit transactions unless YOU, the cardholder, permits such a fee ahead of time.
Are these not sufficient changes for you? It just hasn't happened yet. Stop blaming Obama; he did his part, it just takes awhile for these things to come into effect. Blame the right people: those who are in charge of the credit card companies and see impending change, and are trying so hard to set themselves up, and ONLY themselves.
Monday, June 29, 2009
Stonewall Riots - Texas Raids
Photo: Patrick Michels
It is just absolutely sickening how little progress this country as a whole has made towards recognizing gay rights... I am waiting for the day when "rights" are no longer differentiated by the group, as we are all human. Human rights should be applicable to, well, HUMANS. (Shouldn't that be "humen"?) There ARE rights afforded to humans, but the actual rights afforded to the individual depends on if you are gay, straight, white, black, male, female, transexual, transvestite, yellow, brown, polygamist... How can that actually be okay?
This world is just so wrong. I hate it.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
the Death of Hands
Imagine it's 2786. What do you think the human race, whatever it has become, is using their hands for? I don't think we'll be as dexterous. There will be more machines, and all we'll have to do is fix them, use a hand drill, or push their buttons; neither take much dexterity. They will preserve old manuscripts for the handwriting, not for the content, much like we preserve old stone tablets with words carved into the face. Our use for journals has changed significantly since I kept one when I was single-digits. Remember when we didn't want anyone to read our random thoughts? Now we put it all out there for the world to see, if it ever makes it there...
My last post was written on the day my dog died, well before I knew it. To be so naive again would be bliss. RIP Colby =*
My last post was written on the day my dog died, well before I knew it. To be so naive again would be bliss. RIP Colby =*
Thursday, May 7, 2009
MAINE FOR MARRIAGE!
Maine became the fifth state yesterday to allow gay marriage; New Hampshire is on its way to becoming the sixth. This officially makes New England the greatest place to live in the country. Now, Rhode Island...
In my mind, there is a perfect world which doesn't exist, where all of its citizens are able to live as freely as they please, as individuals; where our neighbors are happy for each other, as long as the individual is happy; where our neighbors don't care what their neighbors are doing, as long as the individual isn't doing anything to hurt anyone else. This world is coming more and more into focus as, one by one, states allow freedom and encourage happiness.
Just scores ago, people felt very strongly that interracial marriages should not be allowed. It's the sons and daughters of those people who are trying to muffle freedom and equality once again. They are afraid of a couple who looks different than them. Scores from now, we will look back at at these years and think, How ridiculous was that?
Maybe by then, marijuana will be legalized...
Monday, May 4, 2009
Who will save the seniors?
We: a twenty-something couple living in an over-priced, studio apartment with our golden retriever, just on the verge of the rest of our lives.
They: an eighty-something couple living in an over-priced, one-bedroom apartment, just on the verge of rebuilding the rest of their lives.
It was time for Brian to go to work, as a cook at a Ninety-Nine restaurant 20 miles away. He had the late shift tonight; it was about 4:30 in the evening. He wouldn't be home until late, which was okay since he'd slept until noontime. Plus, at his age, he had enough energy to work until midnight, or later.
It was the weekend, and I, having the weekends off, was still unsure of what the night held for me. I thought it a good opportunity to walk Colby down the four flights of stairs outside so he could go to the bathroom, while also being able to see Brian off. He stood at the driver's-side door of the Saturn we shared for a couple of minutes, asking me what I was going to be doing that night. I answered unsure, never having been one to make plans. We smiled at each other, kissed, smiled again, and he drove off.
During this I noticed the eighty-something couple. It looked like the husband was also working the late shift, as a cab driver. She had walked him downstairs too, and she stood next to the driver's-side window as they shared a few last words for tonight. He slowly backed his cab out of the driveway, and pulled away. His wife stood there until he was out of sight, then slowly turned to make her way back to their apartment.
Whether she was just tired or sore from old age, she carried an air of defeat back to her building. The weight of the world seemed to be on her shoulders, as it seems to be on the younger generations', but ours are stronger and have yet to wield all which they will.
This government has successfully ruined our senior citizens, and it is up to us to help.
They: an eighty-something couple living in an over-priced, one-bedroom apartment, just on the verge of rebuilding the rest of their lives.
It was time for Brian to go to work, as a cook at a Ninety-Nine restaurant 20 miles away. He had the late shift tonight; it was about 4:30 in the evening. He wouldn't be home until late, which was okay since he'd slept until noontime. Plus, at his age, he had enough energy to work until midnight, or later.
It was the weekend, and I, having the weekends off, was still unsure of what the night held for me. I thought it a good opportunity to walk Colby down the four flights of stairs outside so he could go to the bathroom, while also being able to see Brian off. He stood at the driver's-side door of the Saturn we shared for a couple of minutes, asking me what I was going to be doing that night. I answered unsure, never having been one to make plans. We smiled at each other, kissed, smiled again, and he drove off.
During this I noticed the eighty-something couple. It looked like the husband was also working the late shift, as a cab driver. She had walked him downstairs too, and she stood next to the driver's-side window as they shared a few last words for tonight. He slowly backed his cab out of the driveway, and pulled away. His wife stood there until he was out of sight, then slowly turned to make her way back to their apartment.
Whether she was just tired or sore from old age, she carried an air of defeat back to her building. The weight of the world seemed to be on her shoulders, as it seems to be on the younger generations', but ours are stronger and have yet to wield all which they will.
This government has successfully ruined our senior citizens, and it is up to us to help.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Guru to the Rescue
I always get these paranoid feelings that the people closest to me don't really care about me and are going to leave me, and I know exactly why I feel like that. One side of my family has completely abandoned me, including my father, when really all I wanted was to love and be loved by them. I'm always on the verge of tears. I know that is where my issues stem from, and whenever I get the feeling I will be abandoned again and fear being without love, I tell myself: You know why you're feeling this way, so just stop it. But I can't, and that's the hardest part--knowing I'm acting crazy, and not being able to stop.
As I'm writing this, "Moment of Truth" by Gang Starr comes through my headphones. Guru says, "Sometimes you gotta dig deep when problems come near. Don't fear, things get severe for everybody everywhere. Why do bad things happen to good people? Seems that life is just a constant war between good and evil. The situation that I'm facing is mad amazing, to think such problems can arise from minor confrontations ... I'm ready to lose my mind but instead I use my mind ... My only crime was that I'm too damn kind."
I need to chill.
As I'm writing this, "Moment of Truth" by Gang Starr comes through my headphones. Guru says, "Sometimes you gotta dig deep when problems come near. Don't fear, things get severe for everybody everywhere. Why do bad things happen to good people? Seems that life is just a constant war between good and evil. The situation that I'm facing is mad amazing, to think such problems can arise from minor confrontations ... I'm ready to lose my mind but instead I use my mind ... My only crime was that I'm too damn kind."
I need to chill.
Monday, April 6, 2009
Sarah Palin, why so shocked?
Is she serious?
Palin, Palin, Palin. I always knew you weren't the brightest bulb, but this is just a display of sheer ignorance. You're upset that Levi told America that you "probably knew" the couple was having sex? It's either that, or you are so ridiculously numb to what is going on under your own roof. What kind of parent lets their teenage daughter's boyfriend move in with her?
Be realtistic: of course they're having sex! You provided them with a roof, a bed, and enough privacy to let their hormones take charge and run amuck! No wonder she ended up pregnant--you speak for abstinence, and now it's Bristol's turn? How about actually educating young women on how to protect themselves? If Bristol, a very Christian girl, cannot abstain herself, if she had been educated on the various forms of birth control, rather than being told to simply resist every urge she has while her boyfriend sleeps under the same roof, she probably wouldn't be an unwed, teenage mother.
Have the Spears taught us nothing??!
Palin, Palin, Palin. I always knew you weren't the brightest bulb, but this is just a display of sheer ignorance. You're upset that Levi told America that you "probably knew" the couple was having sex? It's either that, or you are so ridiculously numb to what is going on under your own roof. What kind of parent lets their teenage daughter's boyfriend move in with her?
Be realtistic: of course they're having sex! You provided them with a roof, a bed, and enough privacy to let their hormones take charge and run amuck! No wonder she ended up pregnant--you speak for abstinence, and now it's Bristol's turn? How about actually educating young women on how to protect themselves? If Bristol, a very Christian girl, cannot abstain herself, if she had been educated on the various forms of birth control, rather than being told to simply resist every urge she has while her boyfriend sleeps under the same roof, she probably wouldn't be an unwed, teenage mother.
Have the Spears taught us nothing??!
master file DOWN
Well, here I am, in my cube with nothing to do since the master file is down, where all productivity hinges.. I have a notebook I scribble in when I'm bored and not WILBing (an actual acronym, new to me, which stands for Workplace Internet Leisurely Browsing), and thought now would be a good time to put these roughs up here, since I'll lose said notebook soon. Reader beware: there is no order, hardly any sense, to these ramblings.
Oh, and just to cover my ass, I have to say that EBSCO does not endorse my comments in any way. =)
"Pro-life" is a term which must be used loosely when describing most right-wingers. "Anti-choice" would be a more fitting label. How can one who denounces abortion so readily, including in situations of rape and incest, be so quick to send our young generations to death for, let's not lie to ourselves anymore, oil? (Had the amount of money that's been spent on Iraq and Afghanistan been put towards a solution for our insane dependence on oil, maybe this country/world would be in a much better place... but that's a different rant.) How can anti-choicers say "no" to abortion, even when the fetus is a clear threat to the already-living mother? Any argument against this is out of pure ignorance. Then again, why would conservatives support choice in this matter? We need plenty of young, healthy soldiers for our pursuit of world dominance! For those who claim "pro-life" from a religious standpoint, in the grand scheme, it is so hypocritical due to all of the wars, in history and present, fought in the name of spreading and sustaining any given religion. Value life? How does war value life?
Also, speaking from the left, YAY IOWA!!!!
I believe in Freedom. The Freedom to choose, the Freedom to love. The Freedom to make a choice which will directly result in one's happiness. Afterall, this country was founded on the Freedom to engage in "the pursuit of happiness", whatever that may be for the individual.
_________
a & b are flying, hands held across time,
unsure if they are with it or against it.
gravity escapes them as they are unleashed
from this world, seeking something
they won't know til it's found.
a & b are flying, hands held because if they let go
they will lose all control, limbs will flail about,
one is sure to break. they glimpse at
all unknown territory, soaring towards some
unknown ending which may not even come.
millions or so lightyears later, or before,
a & b have returned, empty-handed
except for each others vice-like grips.
a can feel b's gaze on her profile, and as she
turns to meet it, they find what they've sought:
infinite joy.
**
I don't know if I like this. Maybe I'll try it with prose instead of poetry.
Oh, and just to cover my ass, I have to say that EBSCO does not endorse my comments in any way. =)
"Pro-life" is a term which must be used loosely when describing most right-wingers. "Anti-choice" would be a more fitting label. How can one who denounces abortion so readily, including in situations of rape and incest, be so quick to send our young generations to death for, let's not lie to ourselves anymore, oil? (Had the amount of money that's been spent on Iraq and Afghanistan been put towards a solution for our insane dependence on oil, maybe this country/world would be in a much better place... but that's a different rant.) How can anti-choicers say "no" to abortion, even when the fetus is a clear threat to the already-living mother? Any argument against this is out of pure ignorance. Then again, why would conservatives support choice in this matter? We need plenty of young, healthy soldiers for our pursuit of world dominance! For those who claim "pro-life" from a religious standpoint, in the grand scheme, it is so hypocritical due to all of the wars, in history and present, fought in the name of spreading and sustaining any given religion. Value life? How does war value life?
Also, speaking from the left, YAY IOWA!!!!
I believe in Freedom. The Freedom to choose, the Freedom to love. The Freedom to make a choice which will directly result in one's happiness. Afterall, this country was founded on the Freedom to engage in "the pursuit of happiness", whatever that may be for the individual.
_________
a & b are flying, hands held across time,
unsure if they are with it or against it.
gravity escapes them as they are unleashed
from this world, seeking something
they won't know til it's found.
a & b are flying, hands held because if they let go
they will lose all control, limbs will flail about,
one is sure to break. they glimpse at
all unknown territory, soaring towards some
unknown ending which may not even come.
millions or so lightyears later, or before,
a & b have returned, empty-handed
except for each others vice-like grips.
a can feel b's gaze on her profile, and as she
turns to meet it, they find what they've sought:
infinite joy.
**
I don't know if I like this. Maybe I'll try it with prose instead of poetry.
Monday, March 9, 2009
waiting for you
the standards begin to downshift
two houses down,
so they may be coming to
our driveway.
the automatics like to brake
right out front --
and all I hear is you
coming home.
we will never again live by
a stop sign.
two houses down,
so they may be coming to
our driveway.
the automatics like to brake
right out front --
and all I hear is you
coming home.
we will never again live by
a stop sign.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
I know that my grandmother lies in a hospital bed, unconcious and probably dying, with bilateral lung cancer which is spreading to her limphnodes and breasts. And no matter how hard I try, I don't feel anything about it.
She was never a grandmother, just the mother of my father, who was never my father, just the man who provided half of my DNA. I always knew it would be at one of his parents' funerals where I would see him again.
I miss my real grandmother, every single day. Her memory causes my eyes to well up often, and I know that that is real familial love. What I have with the Justason's is a namesake, which I can't wait to change.
She was never a grandmother, just the mother of my father, who was never my father, just the man who provided half of my DNA. I always knew it would be at one of his parents' funerals where I would see him again.
I miss my real grandmother, every single day. Her memory causes my eyes to well up often, and I know that that is real familial love. What I have with the Justason's is a namesake, which I can't wait to change.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
[the day was one]
the day was one
which waited for snow
that never came;
the air had a chill
which would bite bare skin
and chap unprotected lips.
we stand,
watch our dog seize
and collapse. I laugh.
“Silly puppy.”
*
your words come, broken:
“He has a tumor.
Fluid by his heart.
Have to put him down.”
I think of his golden hair
and how he looks like a
giant puppy when it's shaved;
I think of his limbs
flailing out of his control
and his wild eyes
begging us for an explanation.
For anyone actually concerned, to "put him down" was the suggestion of the first vet. We took him to a second vet, where they drained his heart sac. It is this far that we can afford to take it; his heart sac filling up will have to remain an enigma, and all we can do now is hope that he isn't dying.
which waited for snow
that never came;
the air had a chill
which would bite bare skin
and chap unprotected lips.
we stand,
watch our dog seize
and collapse. I laugh.
“Silly puppy.”
*
your words come, broken:
“He has a tumor.
Fluid by his heart.
Have to put him down.”
I think of his golden hair
and how he looks like a
giant puppy when it's shaved;
I think of his limbs
flailing out of his control
and his wild eyes
begging us for an explanation.
For anyone actually concerned, to "put him down" was the suggestion of the first vet. We took him to a second vet, where they drained his heart sac. It is this far that we can afford to take it; his heart sac filling up will have to remain an enigma, and all we can do now is hope that he isn't dying.
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